The truth hurts sometimes

To those whom it may concern.

Don't you ever wish that there was a big eraser for your life? That's how I feel right about now. Its like I keep screwing up all the time and then I never learn from those mistakes. I just keep doing the same stupid thing over and over again. You think someday I might actually see the lessons to be learned. Well today might be the day I do that. I really regret what I did and I've decided its time for me to "man up" and do something about it.

One of the worst parts about all of this is I don't know where to turn for advice. I feel like even if I talk to one of my friends they're going to judge me or make me feel worse about it then I already do. Or as if I talk to someone who might actually understand they might tell everyone. The only people who I think might understand are people who have "been there, done that". The problems with those kinds of people though is everyone I know who was like that, is STILL like that, so I don't think they could help me at all.

If one of my friends reads this post I just want to put a disclaimer that while I may really want to tell you, I just don't really feel like broadcasting my issues to everyone. I know you'll understand, but this is something I kind of want to deal with on my own. There are three people I have discussed this with, and the only reason I have is because I trust them with my life, my heart, and my feelings.

I never wanted my life to feel like this. That's why now I'm taking matters out of my hands and placing them into God's, I'm trusting that he will help me to make the right decisions and to face temptations head on.

This is what I'd like to leave you with today, it comes from Song of Songs Chapter 2, Verse 7.....
"Daughters of Israel, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."